


10 Years of Agony

by ToujoursMiraculous



Category: Refresh Man, Taiwanese Drama
Genre: 10 Years Apart, Aaron Yan - Freeform, F/M, Joanna Tseng, Refresh Man - Freeform, Taiwanese Drama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 16:41:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13815237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToujoursMiraculous/pseuds/ToujoursMiraculous
Summary: What took place in the ~10 years between Ji Wen Kai's departure after Zhong Yu Tang's mother's death, and their run-in at Tian Xi Cosmetics.





	10 Years of Agony

A year has passed since I left, though it actually feels more like ten.

It's agony being away from Taiwan. Being away from _her_.  
Does she ever think of me? Was I just the Duck Egg King to her, Miss Full-Mark Tang?

I'm lying here awake, my mind racing. I only allow myself to think of Zhong Yu Tang when I need motivation. I was working hard, for her, to be worthy of her someday.

But today, I couldn't avoid it. I spotted a girl at my university with straight reddish-brown hair, tied up in a ponytail. A guy was with her, their hands intertwined, as they walked slowly under the vibrant canopy of trees, enjoying each other's company.  
I had stared longingly at the couple, as they showed me everything I wanted, and what I couldn't have. She was thousands of miles away, across the vast Pacific.  
I lie here awake now, with nothing but questions. Questions that I may in fact never know the answers to.  
Did she still wear her hair up in a ponytail every day? Is she just as amazing in university as she was in high school?  
Did some guy swoop in, and take her away from me?  
My hands balled into fists at the thought, as I began to picture some faceless man by her side. I despise him, whoever he is.

I had asked her to wait for me to return. _Wait for me._  
I whispered the words to her when she wasn't even conscious. I knew she wouldn't ever acknowledge that I had ever said them. Yet, I have to hope that, by some miracle, she will.

I removed the pen recorder I kept hidden under my pillow, the recorder that held my embarrassing and unheard confession for Zhong Yu Tang, and looked at it a moment, along with the picture of us: me hiding cowardly in the lion costume next to her. She never suspected the person underneath was me.  
The question I wanted to know the answer to most came to mind, the question that I also feared more than any other, as I examined the silver piece of machinery:  
_Do you miss me, too, wherever you are?_

 

\--

 

I can't sleep. For some reason, Ji Wen Kai is on my mind.  
_Ji Wen Kai...._  
I've tried not to think of him often, as pain still courses through me when I'm reminded of him. But tonight, there was no escaping it.  
I just don't understand how he could've left me without a word.  
  
Why wouldn't he tell me he was leaving? Why didn't he say goodbye?  
  
I began feeling my heart throbbing in my chest, and took a few deep breaths to try to calm it.

Maybe it's because we never had an established relationship. _Friend_ never was how I thought of him, because he was something more than that to me. It was a puzzle I had yet to figure out. I never knew what he thought of me, but if he thought of me as a friend, would he have been able to walk away like he did?

The last couple of times I saw Ji Wen Kai still haunt me.  
  
He was angry at me. Angry at me for what I said to the teacher about him, I think.  
  
When I close my eyes, his glare is all I see staring back at me. Pieces of the torn up amusement park ticket fluttering down as he began to walk away.  
I only saw him once after that, when my mother had died, and he found me sitting on the step crying. He finally showed his face to me then. I had cried myself to sleep in his arms, I know, but I had awoke alone in my dark room...  
  
I remember feeling that little bit of relief among the grief, that things would be alright with Ji Wen Kai right there with me.  
Only to find out later that day that my grief would double instead.

Tears were beginning to form in the corner of my eyes, and they were beginning to spill over and streak down the sides of my face, as I let myself think of him one more time before I shut the door I tried so hard to keep closed, blocking him from my thoughts once more.  
  
_Ji Wen Kai. Wherever you are, whoever you're with, whatever you're doing... I know you'll become something great someday. I hope you'll understand the teasing, the mocking, and the embarrassment I put you through was because I have faith in you. I miss you, Duck Egg King...._


End file.
